Why oral sex?

I've been engaged in an interesting conversation with a conservative lady on Athol's blog. I do hope I am sufficiently respectful of her views and values in this post - if not sincere apologies!

"Candice, quite apart from the health issues regarding hygiene and bacteria, which I accept could be controlled, the idea that any woman would willing allow a man to do this is beyond my understanding. What is it suposed to do for her? What does hse achieve by placing herself in such a degraded, submissive position, allowing a man to use her as a vessel for lust? She receives no sexual gratification by doing so, so the act is totally one-sided, quite apart from the negative physical and mental hygiene issues that arise from it."

Lots of people don’t do it. I can understand that and respect their views. If Awesome did not want to let me do it, I’d respect his decision.  I also need to say upfront that how one feels about something is very closely connected to how one frames it. Both Awesome and I are very respectful of each other and no one feels degraded in our relationship. 

I must admit I was not into oral sex when I was younger and then really could not help myself with the great love of my life! He would never have asked because he thought it selfish of a man to request oral sex. So I guess the first reason for oral sex was that I really loved him and feel a very strong connection. I then had to convince him I liked doing it befiore he settled into enjoying himself.

Also, men really, really like oral sex! Ask him to suck your finger – I am guessing the sensation of oral sex for a man is something like that in combination with g-spot stimulation.  I’d do it just to make him feel good! I can feel his excitement and pleasure and that makes me feel good as well. Basically it’s a bonding experience like any other form of sex.

Another way that a woman benefits from oral sex is that it’s a great way to “fluff up” a man. Fluffing up becomes more important as they get older and need some stimulation to gain an erection – but even young men may need something to get their engine running. In addition, if the erection is not sufficiently strong for normal sex or the vagina not available for use, one can bring a man to orgasm through oral sex.

Note that as you get older and your body changes, you need to innovate to keep sex happening, so it’s not good to limit your array of tactics! On the other hand, if husband and wife both are a bit over it all, a good cuddle and a cup of tea may be sufficient to keep everyone happy!

I’m not saying everyone should do it and I’m certainly saying that everyone should be clean and not spread disease, but I am saying being open-minded might be a good idea. Every new idea I’ve had has been welcomed by my dear conservative man - even some I've tried to hide!

BTW – there are blogs that analyse the theology on the issue of sex between married partners. These people know their Bible better than me, so I don’t go there in this blog. Similarly, I don't worry too much about defining depravity.

BTW – I think some Americans may be more conservative than us here in Australia.

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An interesting cityscape - George Street, Brisbane

Cleanliness, penises and oral sex

Sometimes a single small piece of information is enough to cause a “light bulb moment”. Yesterday I learned that a significant number of men with foreskins don’t wash their penises thoroughly and have build-ups of sticky stuff underneath them. It did not take long for me to start thinking of the implications.

Note: I expect an equal proportion of men without foreskins don't know how to wash them properly. This article does not discriminate against foreskin owners! 

First off the block was – OOOOO – now I know why many women don’t provide oral sex – one look / whiff of a dirty penis (with or without foreskin) and they would be put off for life! HUH – and innocent little Candice thought they were worried about imaginary germs!

Secondly I thought – crumbs – some men may not know what the benchmark is for a clean penis. They are probably sitting at home now complaining about fussy women.  

I don’t believe many people would choose dirty and infected over clean and comfortable if they knew! A benchmark clean, healthy penis is pink (or whatever you skin colour is) and does not have any sticky stuff on it. It is also not red and irritated. ALSO, a washed penis with foreskin is just as clean as one without..

Thirdly I thought – CRUMBS – men can’t smell their own penises – they are just too far away from their noses! OK guys, even if you wash in the morning, by the end of a hot day you will get a little sweaty down there – sweaty enough to put a girl off. On the other hand, a clean, healthy penis smells like clean man and tastes from bland to really nice! The lesson from this is of course to wash thoroughly and often.  

Fourthly, I realised that a woman can only tell a man how to wash his private parts from the point of view of her getting close and personal to them. Afterall, there must be some secret men's business about private part washing that is simply never shared with girls (or other men it also appears!)! So here is my “best practice” preference based on observations of men whose penises I verified to be clean and on the online “literature”.

Soap is not mentioned as necessary by various online experts and I can imagine how sensitive parts could be irritated, but I would prefer judicious use of mild, non-perfumed soap such as Neutrogena and of course a thorough rinsing. That way any residual soap does not irritate and you smell and taste like clean man, not soap.  

I suggest a good lathering and thorough washing of the groin area, anus and butt. The shaft and head of the penis could be thoroughly washed with warm water only. However, I’ve observed soap used to good effect and can't attest that a non-soaped penis would smell/taste the same as a soap-cleaned one.

Please remember to wash all the parts down there individually and carefully – all the nooks and crannies please - don’t just splash water at them. If you have a foreskin, gently pull it back and clean underneath it. Remember when washing that someone may put that part in their mouth!

Finally, it’s best practice to shower twice a day, especially in warm climates, if you work hard and if you want your lady to have sex with you every day. You may even shower before sex, just to be sure!

What do you think gentlemen? Is there anything to add or take away from my analysis?

Note: You can wash too much and irritate the penis, especially if you use soap and rub too hard. Just be sensible – m’okay?   

For some reason this reminded me of a clean penis ...