I’ve got a very conservative friend that thinks I am still a very conservative woman (hehe)! Anyway – I suspect he has a friend with benefits – a very nice lady who I’ve talked to and like. A number of other male friends have confessed to FWB.
I know people of all ages do the FWB thing, but I feel that the FWB model is probably becoming more appropriate for me as I age. As a young woman I really wanted a capable and loving man that would be a real partner and work with me to found a family and build a nice home and life. I made a bad choice and got neither family nor nice home, but accrued a continuing obligation to care for another person. Hello Candice – one woman welfare system!
….anyway …. there is no doubt my needs and opportunities as a mature woman have changed…..
My marriage experience has somewhat put me off live-in commitment to another person. I also value my independence and I think the biological drivers for live-in commitment have lessened. Another matter to take into consideration is that pregnancy is totally unlikely. I can therefore understand why someone would go with FWB rather than waiting in noble suffering for a traditional long term relationship.
Realistically speaking it takes a very long time to find a soul mate – if every 1 in 400 is a soul mate, then that is a lot of dates! I’ve seen my male mates search for years. Meantime, there is a need for closeness, affection and support. It is a very lonely experience being single!
Having a friend with benefits however could have some downsides – you could pair bond with a person that did not do the same with you and therefore become unable to commit to another person. Also, intimate contact could lead to contracting a non treatable STD such as herpes (HSV) or HPV.
Overall, I am in favour of this friendship model …
|A different perspective ...|