The previous post covered the general categories of benefits that arise from intimacy – as a way of covering the possible benefits of enhanced hand jobs to both parties and ensuring shorter and more readable posts. Now I attempt to explain how a hand job may be enhanced for both parties.Readers - please feel free to provide your own tips!
I assume the vagina is not open for business and that there may be major issues such as infection, genital atrophy, other medical issues associated with menopause or recovery from birth induced damage.
I’d like to praise the hand job. In itself, it's ultimately safe sex! Of course papilloma virus (HPV) could be spread and while I’ve never heard of herpes (HSV) occurring on the hands, hands with virus on them touching other parts of the body could start an infection. Therefore, if disease is in anyway an issue, wear gloves, wash hands etc.
The first way to enhance a hand job, besides a shower with soap for the man, is to adopt a positive attitude! Are there any negative beliefs either of you need to address? I love playing with his private parts and channel his enjoyment, so I like giving hand jobs. Additionally, they are also a great finale to a sensual massage.
Of course, hand jobs occur within a context. Assuming we are not going for a very quick quickie, foreplay (and perhaps massage) can enhance a hand job and also provide a pay off for the hand job providing party.
Foreplay – kissing, cuddling and caressing – is really enjoyable by itself. I’d suggest using it as a time for mutual appreciation and declarations of love and affection. Both parties benefit at least from sensuality, connection and affection and as a couple by reinforcing their bond.
A lady in menopause may have trouble coping with all her tasks, so to make time for foreplay a husband may need to see that the tasks are done for her or allocated to someone else. Did I tell you how one may have so little emotional energy that even the emotional labour of getting someone to do something may just be tooooo hard? To make time for foreplay when there is a new baby in the house, a husband might have to do housework and get the other kids to sleep. My father hired a nanny – but I think that was for other reasons!
Massage – I’d happily trade a hand job for a good massage followed by being cuddled to sleep. Also, the person massaging gets to touch, see and enjoy their partner’s body. Mutual massage or even one way massage can be very bonding and I could imagine a loving husband would enjoy providing it to his wife, especially if she is suffering from a heavy pregnancy or traumatic birth. Massage is also a VERY, VERY good way to provide relaxation to a lady stressed past her limits by menopause. She may then feel up to providing some comfort to her husband!
Foreplay and/or massage could leave one or more parties with sexual tension that needs releasing. Therefore, the enhanced hand job … as one option! Here are my tips:
- Be present – and positive – treat a hand job as you would sex and create a climate of loving intimacy.
- All men are different – with different sensitive spots and pressure requirements. Often the rim of the head is very sensitive, but one always needs a good up and down motion on the shaft. Watch how he does it for himself and then copy.
- Ask for lots of feedback and keep an eye on his body language to work out what he likes most. Perfecting your technique may take time – be patient and celebrate your achievements!
- A hand job is often improved with the use of lubricant to mimic vaginal lubrication. Keep a bottle on hand and add extra as necessary. Coconut oil can be used and is long lasting. It also will not raise any suspicions should someone else find the bottle.
- Admiring his private parts and using the other hand to caress him, as well as various kisses to sensitive parts of his body, makes a hand job more intimate and loving.
- I create fantasies and word pictures while we have sex – for a hand job I might relive an early shared romantic experience or describe some mutually connecting and arousing scenario.
- If the lady is fatigued, has weak hands or the man requires a lot of pressure, he might complete the hand job himself while she provides kisses, caresses and encouragement. Often men like their nipples or chest stimulated, so she could do that while he helps himself out and then both can enjoy a post release cuddle.
Enhanced hand jobs for the man may be enjoyable for both, but a lady rarely orgasms giving a hand job to a man and quid pro quo may be necessary. I’ll address that in another post!
|Brisbane River from Botanic Gardens towards Kangaroo Point. People live on these boats - sadly many of the more rustic ones disappeared after the flood in early 2011.|