Normally I maintain a high level of confidence re my appearance by telling (fooling?) myself that Eurasian women age much better than ‘white’ women. HA! - a weak foundation indeed!
Just recently we met a close friend of Awsome and his date – OOOOO – blonde, dressed to glow, perfect makeup, outgoing, pretty!
Then I glanced at Billy’s online dating favourites list…oh my…blonde, youthful, perfect complexions…glamour shots all!
Cue extreme case of feeling NOT glamorous, not worthy of such an Awesome man and definitely not competitive with all those gorgeous women!
It’s hard maintaining self-esteem with treacherous changes in hormones deteriorating what looks one has – finally I have to work on my appearance and not just rely on good skin, high cheekbones, proportional figure etc!
<sigh>
The truth is when men judge my attractiveness they will compare me with my perceived cohort (40 somethings) and it will not help that I look relatively good for a 50 something…
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| I think this image captures my feelings right now .... shaken not stirred ... |
Dear Candice: It has been said that "Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder". I also am aging gracefully (the over 50 group). I am an Afro-American. I used to consider myself as handsome, but now I see a greying older man. I am less confident of my appearance now, but for some unknown reason I am receiving more attention from the opposite sex than I can truthfully handle. My wife is Caucasian and is attractive as ever (she works out every day), but I still work at staying in shape and keeping fit (I cycle, swim, hike and do yoga). If a man or woman takes care of them-self, they will continue to be attractive to the opposite sex, regardless of ethnicity.
ReplyDeleteHi Candice, IMHO it is difficult to make meaningful generalizations along the lines of "when men judge my attractiveness..." Beauty is such an individual, idiosyncratic quality. And furthermore attraction is based on such a very complex combination of qualities, most of which are not based on appearance. I understand the feelings you are talking about because I tend to be insecure about my appearance also. It seems to be a natural instinct for us to be have anxieties about our appearance. But in the experience of real life love and sex, one's erotic satisfaction and appreciation for one's lover is rarely based primarily on appearance. It would be good for us to every once in a while have a reality check, and to remind ourselves of this.
ReplyDeleteJust keep that ass in shape by going to the gym and doing barbell squats. Im 47 and that's what I do, Candy babay.
ReplyDeleteThank you - wise advice indeed and comforting! As you might have detected, I've been a tad fragile over the last few days! This is unlike me and not a little scary!
ReplyDeleteI summarise your advice that one needs to keep fit and build other value to keep up the attractiveness quotient. It appears doable in the face of aging. :-)
In the absence of Awesome who is spending a great day with his grandchildren, and in the shadow of a global recession, I am working on thinking positively and building my core team for facing the challenges ahead.
Thank you again! :-)