Friday, 2 September 2011

Cleanliness, penises and oral sex

Sometimes a single small piece of information is enough to cause a “light bulb moment”. Yesterday I learned that a significant number of men with foreskins don’t wash their penises thoroughly and have build-ups of sticky stuff underneath them. It did not take long for me to start thinking of the implications.

Note: I expect an equal proportion of men without foreskins don't know how to wash them properly. This article does not discriminate against foreskin owners! 

First off the block was – OOOOO – now I know why many women don’t provide oral sex – one look / whiff of a dirty penis (with or without foreskin) and they would be put off for life! HUH – and innocent little Candice thought they were worried about imaginary germs!

Secondly I thought – crumbs – some men may not know what the benchmark is for a clean penis. They are probably sitting at home now complaining about fussy women.  

I don’t believe many people would choose dirty and infected over clean and comfortable if they knew! A benchmark clean, healthy penis is pink (or whatever you skin colour is) and does not have any sticky stuff on it. It is also not red and irritated. ALSO, a washed penis with foreskin is just as clean as one without..

Thirdly I thought – CRUMBS – men can’t smell their own penises – they are just too far away from their noses! OK guys, even if you wash in the morning, by the end of a hot day you will get a little sweaty down there – sweaty enough to put a girl off. On the other hand, a clean, healthy penis smells like clean man and tastes from bland to really nice! The lesson from this is of course to wash thoroughly and often.  

Fourthly, I realised that a woman can only tell a man how to wash his private parts from the point of view of her getting close and personal to them. Afterall, there must be some secret men's business about private part washing that is simply never shared with girls (or other men it also appears!)! So here is my “best practice” preference based on observations of men whose penises I verified to be clean and on the online “literature”.

Soap is not mentioned as necessary by various online experts and I can imagine how sensitive parts could be irritated, but I would prefer judicious use of mild, non-perfumed soap such as Neutrogena and of course a thorough rinsing. That way any residual soap does not irritate and you smell and taste like clean man, not soap.  

I suggest a good lathering and thorough washing of the groin area, anus and butt. The shaft and head of the penis could be thoroughly washed with warm water only. However, I’ve observed soap used to good effect and can't attest that a non-soaped penis would smell/taste the same as a soap-cleaned one.

Please remember to wash all the parts down there individually and carefully – all the nooks and crannies please - don’t just splash water at them. If you have a foreskin, gently pull it back and clean underneath it. Remember when washing that someone may put that part in their mouth!

Finally, it’s best practice to shower twice a day, especially in warm climates, if you work hard and if you want your lady to have sex with you every day. You may even shower before sex, just to be sure!

What do you think gentlemen? Is there anything to add or take away from my analysis?

Note: You can wash too much and irritate the penis, especially if you use soap and rub too hard. Just be sensible – m’okay?   
For some reason this reminded me of a clean penis ...

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