I think one of the main issues for any couple is how to grow closer and happier even when facing the challenges of illness, aging and unequal decline in libido. It's good to feel driven to learn about relevant matters and experiment – too many people just accept the status quo or simply decide it’s all too hard and their partner can just do without sex and affection!
I faced decrease in libido after menopause and my partner is getting older too, but by innovating and recognising all the other aspects and benefits of sex, we manage a joy and frequency that most younger couples might not experience.
I reflect that we have included so many rewards other than those associated with satiation of rampant libido, that we’ve enhanced the experience past normal hop on, pump, hop off sex.
Sex is about caring – about being happy because you make the other person happy. I know some men that implement romantic gestures that they personally don’t find inspiring, just to see the joy on their wife’s face! I am happy if I can make him happy – even if sex does not mean an orgasm for me.
For us sex is a lot about affection – we are both very affectionate, me more so. He mistakes my affection for seduction and my responsive desire is triggered by his response.
Sensuality has become more important to me as time has passed. Some couples include massage (who can resist massage?). Maximising skin contact has become a goal and I dream of him caressing my back as we cuddle.
Sex is also about relaxation and finding a safe and warm place. The contented post-sex nap makes it all worth while!
Finally (perhaps not, what else can I discover?) our physical relationship provides me with the chance to innovate. I do so love trying out new stuff and developing as a person. He is my partner in crime, inspiration and mentor.
|Many new buds still to open and new flowers in which to delight!|