My Journey 4: Attraction rating

Athol Kay argues that people seek partners that they perceive to be as attractive as or more attractive than themselves and that stable marriages result from people have similar attraction ratings.  It is also possible to increase's one's attractiveness and when one partner does, the other may seek to keep up or fall behind and separation may occur.

I have been reflecting on this framework as a way of structuring my understanding of a key part of my journey. 8 years ago I was overweight and did not own any nice outfits. I had significant health issues. Perhaps the only things I rated highly on were my ability to earn money, intelligence, education and pleasant personality.

I accepted my marriage was over and I started to change my life. I focused on making me better. I started to get a corporate wardrobe together, I lost weight, I became fitter and overcame my health problems. I reached out to old and new friends and started to focus on self development. I gave permission to some very trusted friends to challenge my attitudes, knowledge and behaviours.I went through both a physical and mental transformation and found a new job.

So here I am now - I have dated some very wonderul men and have a fantastic man in my life.  I think my attractiveness rating has sky rocketed

Candice 2011 - not older, better!