I've been engaged in an interesting conversation with a conservative lady on Athol's blog. I do hope I am sufficiently respectful of her views and values in this post - if not sincere apologies!
"Candice, quite apart from the health issues regarding hygiene and bacteria, which I accept could be controlled, the idea that any woman would willing allow a man to do this is beyond my understanding. What is it suposed to do for her? What does hse achieve by placing herself in such a degraded, submissive position, allowing a man to use her as a vessel for lust? She receives no sexual gratification by doing so, so the act is totally one-sided, quite apart from the negative physical and mental hygiene issues that arise from it."
Lots of people don’t do it. I can understand that and respect their views. If Awesome did not want to let me do it, I’d respect his decision. I also need to say upfront that how one feels about something is very closely connected to how one frames it. Both Awesome and I are very respectful of each other and no one feels degraded in our relationship.
I must admit I was not into oral sex when I was younger and then really could not help myself with the great love of my life! He would never have asked because he thought it selfish of a man to request oral sex. So I guess the first reason for oral sex was that I really loved him and feel a very strong connection. I then had to convince him I liked doing it befiore he settled into enjoying himself.
Also, men really, really like oral sex! Ask him to suck your finger – I am guessing the sensation of oral sex for a man is something like that in combination with g-spot stimulation. I’d do it just to make him feel good! I can feel his excitement and pleasure and that makes me feel good as well. Basically it’s a bonding experience like any other form of sex.
Another way that a woman benefits from oral sex is that it’s a great way to “fluff up” a man. Fluffing up becomes more important as they get older and need some stimulation to gain an erection – but even young men may need something to get their engine running. In addition, if the erection is not sufficiently strong for normal sex or the vagina not available for use, one can bring a man to orgasm through oral sex.
Note that as you get older and your body changes, you need to innovate to keep sex happening, so it’s not good to limit your array of tactics! On the other hand, if husband and wife both are a bit over it all, a good cuddle and a cup of tea may be sufficient to keep everyone happy!
I’m not saying everyone should do it and I’m certainly saying that everyone should be clean and not spread disease, but I am saying being open-minded might be a good idea. Every new idea I’ve had has been welcomed by my dear conservative man - even some I've tried to hide!
BTW – there are blogs that analyse the theology on the issue of sex between married partners. These people know their Bible better than me, so I don’t go there in this blog. Similarly, I don't worry too much about defining depravity.
BTW – I think some Americans may be more conservative than us here in Australia..
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