Saturday, 26 November 2011

How to enjoy not having intercourse!

I appear to be getting huge number of click throughs from Married Man Sex Life due to a comment I made about there being mutually satisfying ways to not have intercourse. This was in a reply to a lady that wanted to know how to satisfy herself and her husband pre and post partum without recourse to either intercourse (medically advised against) or oral sex (makes her feel sick).  

Note: Google “post partum sex” and “post partum orgasm” for more information on sex after birth.

 Note: Ask the doctor for details of what you can and cannot do post partum. Intercourse may be advised against due to the need for the vagina to heal/ get back to normal and to avoid the risk of infection. Orgasm can lead to uterine contractions and thus increased bleeding – check out with the doctor if this is a concern for you. 

Also, Eric noted interest from mid life couples. So, I’m going to write some articles on different forms of sex from the point of view of a post menopause woman – and hope that pre and post partum couples can draw some value.

Firstly, let’s get on the same page re the range of enjoyable benefits arising from intimacy:
  • Connection and affection – both men and women crave this and it’s not necessarily provided by pump and dump or indeed suck and dump. This need seems to grow with age - certainly I've noticed my male friends mentioning their critical need for affection and connection much more lately.
  • Relaxation and sleep - as you get older, relaxation gets to be a more important component of intimacy, but people with new babies at home could equally need a bit of relaxation.
  • Sensual enjoyment – sensuality is often underrated. If one has sensitive skin, loving touch can be very wonderful and even lead to orgasm. Women and men often have sensitive chests, necks etc.  I expect that even older couples with years of marriage behind them may not have discovered the full benefits of sensual touch.    
  •  Relief of sexual tension - this can be particularly important for men, but also women and even some women post partum require release. On the other hand, orgasm may become less (or more) important to women post menopause. However, if one party provides relief to the other continually without reward and even by feeling nauseas, pair bonding may suffer. Therefore, the challenge is to devise activities that are mutually beneficial.  
 The above points are self-evident once you have “made the journey”. However, it took me some time and experience to really understand the depth of the benefits. I can remember arguing with my mentor about the necessity of orgasm! I’ve come to appreciate the first three benefits so much more as I have matured and had the opportunity to explore intimacy. Therefore, my experience points to going ahead in faith and experimenting in order to leverage the most from intimacy. 

This is a view of the Brisbane River taken from the Botanic Gardens in the late afternoon. Often we walk here as we unwind from the day.

1 comment:

  1. SOMEONE WHO SHOULD KNOW reminded me to make sure I mentioned the importance of ambiance, e.g. nice setting, candles, scents, music etc. He suggested if sex was off the menu, couples might take turns at massage (as in you one day me the next). He pointed out a (sensual) massage could result in a man gaining an erection. Therefore, the one massaging would need to be ready to either personally take advantage of the erection or provide a happy ending. :-)