Friday, 4 November 2011

Menopause crisis

I’ve not been blogging seriously for a while due to difficulty in approaching this post. I am somewhat known for being positive, even about menopause – hubris perhaps?

Not so long ago I had a major menopause crisis. It was preceded by distressing <ahem> private symptoms - after a lot of angst - diagnosis of genital atrophy.  I will blog on that one day – there are many lessons to learn. Also, a fairly sudden deterioration in the skin of my face and neck – it looked thinner and much less elastic. I was suddenly looking OLD!       

All this led to a review of other creeping changes – the reduction in libido, fatigue, compromised memory and cognition, lack of motivation for things that once motivated and an intolerance for certain people. Once I could move mountains with my intellect, now I could only make slow progress on a molehill. I was no longer the person I used to be and that was very, very SCARY!

Not only that, I could see the problems I faced in getting my life back together and could even form some foggy goals, but lacked the motivation and emotional, mental and physical capability to do so. Obviously I had failed to liquidate my equities before the drop in value, but also I needed to do a heap of other mundane and more challenging things to achieve a reasonable life.      

I desperately needed support – usually I can support myself – but I rang Billy almost in tears. Unfortunately the vagaries of the stock market were at that very time losing him a very great deal of money. Anyway, he thought I was tired and emotional and suggested a good sleep. I went to bed in tears desperate for help and facing huge challenges, alone, with diminished resources. I realised men - even soul twins - often don’t understand the profoundly disturbing impact of menopause, but that is also another blog article!

After a couple of days Awesome returned from a business trip. We sat in his lovely, warm comfortable car in a dark cold street in West End and I told him of my fears – “It’s not fair … perverse outcomes .... my world is ending … I’m a different person physically, mentally and emotionally …I need to access medicine and I don’t know how to get it without distressing and invasive tests …”.   He thought for a bit and then said “you have a pleasant personality, hang on to that…and have faith that there is a solution…and faith in your subconscious.” Then he bought me a nice dinner with hot chocolate in a charming bohemian restaurant filled with students, warmth and hope.
Sunsets are nice – but are followed by darkness!


  1. Wow, that's a beautiful posting.

    "Have faith that there is a solution."

    anything is possible when you have people standing behind you. And apparently you do.

    everyone has challenges. The people who love you will love you no matter what happens. if they quit loving you for some trivial reason, that tells you more about their character than your own.

    I wish you the best in life.

  2. continued: I do not mean to imply that your struggles are trivial. it sounds like they are major hurdles. real love will be by your side thru the major and the minor.

  3. Thank you for your appreciation of my post! Yes Awesome and Billy are pretty wonderful. I did not think you meant the matter was trivial, so all is fine.

    One of the scary things is hearing people say post menopause women are unattractive and that men will therefore naturally look elsewhere - and as you become a member of that "unattractive" group, even if you try to be positive, you always worry that you'll never be seen as an attractive woman again.

    HOWEVER, it seems that while mature women are unattractive to the younger and more likely to comment set, they are still attractive to mature men! (YAY)

    Anyway - all seems to be well just now. I'll keep you all updated!

    Please keep commenting!

    :-) C